My inspiration for this post comes from a few places. I recently watched the movie "The Bucket List", so if you haven't seen it yet, the storyline is simple. Two men, both with terminal cancer and given a short time to live, make a list of things that they'd like to do before they "kick the bucket".
Another reason for this post is that I stumbled across a list that my wife had made, just a few things on it. Some things that she jotted down. Areas of her life that she would like to make improvements.
So, I wrote my own list, but it wasn't a list of things "to do" it was more like a list of things that "I am.
My thinking is that if I can be honest with myself about my current situation, then if there is anything on that list which I do not like, I'll know where to start to make a change.
Like many lists that I have created in the past, I've decided that I should read this one everyday, perhaps in the morning, while I am having breakfast. Hence the name, "The Breakfast List".
Now, I'd ask you to go make your own list. You don't need to post it online as I have done, but I think that you should write down those things which you already know to be true, and that you don't like about yourself.
Instead of constantly trying to push them to the back of your mind (as I usually do) let's bring them out into the light, make items out of them, and after that we'll be able to deal with them and eliminate or change them.
So, here's my breakfast list:
- I fail at most things that I do.
- I don't know how to plan.
- I don't know how to prioritize.
- I spend to much time focusing on small things.
- I unrealistically think that people should just offer to help me.
- I don't know how to ask for help.
- I spend a lot of time being "busy" but not "productive".
- I don't provide a stable income for my family.
- I didn't turn out to be who I wanted to be.
- I make lists and then do nothing about it.
- I've always believed that I would win the lottery.
And that's basically it. I could probably go on to provide a paragraph or two about each one, but that's not really the point of this exercise. I know what I mean by each of them, and you'll know what you mean too. The Breakfast List is yours. It's a way to shine some light into those dark corners of your life, and only by doing that will you be able to take control and start doing something.
Have a nice day, and if you do decide to post your own Breakfast List, please come back here and let me know in the comments section, or do a trackback.
Thanks,
Me
The Breakfast List | The Lunch List | The Dinner List
Something I noticed with your list is that you have more negatives than positives about yourself. I used to have that a few years back. A friend of mine pointed it out and pointed out just how good having a strong positive mental attitude both about yourself and your strengths and weaknesses.
Something that I was also pointed to was Strengths Finder. It is a great book by Marcus Buckingham, worth a read… it’s definitely about positivity and working to your strengths and working around your weaknesses by bringing in people with strengths in your weaker areas so that as a unit you are very strong.
Anyway I saw this on your twitter feed and just wanted to say think positive, believe in yourself and you can achieve almost anything if you put your mind to it and get the right people involved.
Have fun and thanks for writing the post! :)
@Sarah Thanks for the comment, and true they are almost all negatives, but I felt the need to acknowledge their existence instead of just ignoring them and letting them haunt my subconscious.
For all the situations that I have created for myself in the last few years, I think that I maintain a pretty positive mental attitude, but I’ll check out that book you’ve mentioned.
Please stop by again soon!
I like the idea of a “Breakfast List” that you read once every morning over breakfast. Lots of lists don’t work because they get buried in a pile or deep in a notebook or journal.
That said, I’d suggest rewriting your list into positive affirmations. There are many improvements I would like to make/am making in my own life, and I find that - while it sounds simplistic - looking in the mirror and thinking “I’m fat!” just puts me in a bad mood, but saying “I’m getting back in shape and going to go for a run” can be the push I need to actually go for that run.
I’m a Type A personality (as you know) so I love lists with next action items. Everyday I print a card with a blank line for each of my major current goals, i.e.:
LEARN DJANGO:
LEARN GERMAN:
RUN A 5K:
Then I put one task next to each goal that will help me get a step closer, i.e.:
LEARN DJANGO: Read Ch4 of “Pragmatic Programmer”
LEARN GERMAN: Listen to Episode 5 of “Deutsch: Warum Nicht?”
RUN A 5K: Run for 90 seconds, walk for 120 seconds, repeat 5x.
I make sure that these get highest priority in my day. Could you break your list down like that, so instead of just reading it, you can also act on it?
Hey bro,
Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all fail sometimes, that is normal. Start reading the biographies of many well known and (by the world’s standards) very successful people and you will see that not everything they did was successful, in fact, some failed greatly. Not everything we try is going to be successful. Now that you’ve listed your weaknesses, list your strengths. You’ve got a lot of them, so don’t be modest :). :Like being amazingly funny and witty (you get that from me, you know!).
Also, don’t forget to count your blessings. You have your health and your family.
Hang in there, God has a plan for your life. This is just a new chapter.
BTW-I’m am sure you have watched “The Last Lecture” but if you haven’t, you should make time to see it (I think it is about 40 min. long).
Love you.
SM
@Marina,
Thanks for your comment, and yes, there was no attempt at putting a positive spin on anything, see the Lunch List and the subsequent Dinner List, where I turn things around into action items.
Also, I was thinking last night before going to sleep, about your weight loss example.
The thing that I see with that approach is that while some people might just start running to lose weight, after a few weeks and nothing to show for it, they would easily become frustrated and just give up.
I think that it might be better to “get mad” and take a more honest approach and say something like “I’m too fat, and I’m tired of not being to tie my shoes without getting winded. I’m going to do something about it.” Then, if the running didn’t work, the underlying promise is still there, and therefore the motivation should still be there (i.e., still too fat and cannot tie shoes) - overall, I think that we just need to be more honest with ourselves instead of creating positive sounding lists - we need to get mad in order to stay motivated and make a change.
What do you think?
Hey Michael,
I do think that you are on to something in self realization about that part of yourself that existed in the past.
Some of those things that routinely trip you up, may yet again be part of future, and possibly by naming them and acknowledging them you will reduce their power over you.
That said, and I think some of the other comments have touched on this a bit, I think you should balance it out with your strengths.
It would seem that you have created a SWOT analysis (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats) but have only covered the Weaknesses. If you start each day only focusing on the things that can foil you and don’t give equal time to all those talents, strengths and opportunities and threats too, that may help or hinder or even exacerbate your weaknesses, it seems like you might not be as prepared for the day as you could be.
Kind of like just eating a bowl of cereal can set you up for a carb crash a couple hours into the morning, making it important to balance out your breakfast with some protein and fruits etc.
I do think you have hit upon something valuable in facing your weaknesses head on, that type of realization does not come easy to anyone and can take weeks, months or years to correct, but I do think you will benefit as much from recognizing all those things that help you cope with your weaknesses and possibly seize the opportunities that present themselves that are not threatened by your weaknesses.
We’ve only met a few times, but you definitely have some strengths, one of which that has impressed me is your vision and ability to pursue that vision. I could care less if you fail at it. Everyone fails at things, and sometimes people fail in small ways and sometimes they fail spectacularly, but its only those people that don’t try that really bother me. :)
Thanks for your comment Brett - I’ve brought most of the bullet points full circle by the time I got to my Dinner List - have you read it as well?
For me, it was a good process, because I feel that if we cannot be honest with ourselves, and put down in writing what we are really thinking then it’s not going to do much good to create a “ra ra, feel good” list.
Of course, most people won’t put their honest, original list online, but I don’t mind at all if others read mine. I have nothing to hide, and others might take a few steps towards change if I lead by example, I guess.
I hope we get a chance to meet again someday.
Michael - Okay, I see the progression of the lists now, although I’m still not crazy about endorsing a negativity list. (But, to each his own!)
My main thought is that your lists may be in the wrong order. You go all day before getting to the motivational steps at dinner.
Now that’s been a week, have you found these lists to be helpful? I’d love to hear more about how they may change over time.
Well, my intention wasn’t really that each list would be read during that time of the day. It was more like, I took one entire day to evaluate what was bugging me or things that I wanted to change, and by dinner time I had figured out that I could find the positive aspects of each one.
So, it’s been a week and now I find that I have a renewed energy and motivation to get a project completed and released. The redevelopment and relaunch of MyChingo is starting to take shape!
;^)
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